After the Crash: The Purpose in the Pain

Last night we picked up my bike from the bike shop after getting it repaired. Luckily, the damages to it, like the ones I sustained, were minor. I got a new helmet and some new cycling clothes as mine have gotten too big anyway. I rode my bike across the parking lot and my smile was beaming! It just so happens that the angle of leaning to grip the handlebars is just the proper stance and pressure to hold a broken clavicle in the correct healing position. :)

This morning I rode the trainer in my living room. Shawn set it up to face the window and opened it for me so the wind was on my face. I was amazed at the irony of the ride. When I am out riding on the street, I can mentally be other places, thinking about other things. When I was riding the trainer, my mind was out on my regular 20 mile route. I was able to visualize stride for stride, exactly where I would be on the ride by the music and muscle memory. I stood up on the pedals in the places I normally would to get up a hill or get through a light. I even pulled in the driveway at home right as the music went back to the first song--the place it always gets to when I'm done. I checked the time and exactly an hour and a half had passed just as it does when I ride 20 miles outside. Of course outside is better, but I'm contenting myself with what my protective Other Half (aka Shawn) feels is a good idea right now.



During that time today, I was thinking about my injury and how it really was so minimal in the overall scheme of things. I mean, I was hit by a car. I wondered at the purpose for it. In that moment, a rush of inspiration entered my mind powerfully, as Heavenly Father told me what it was about. He was getting my attention, just as He did through my birth, and near death experience with my last baby, Matthew. He focused my mind on the fact that I was fully geared up, protected, covered by the proper helmet, gloves, and clothing, and that I had been obedient to all traffic laws, and that because I was obedient and prepared, my damages were minimal. Metaphorically, I had on the full armor of God. I was not destroyed by the fiery darts of the adversary. I experienced the physical representation of being attacked, yet being shielded by the armor of God and its subsequent protection.

God wanted my mind and heart focused on this fact in my preparation to create Battle For Souls. He wants my mind and heart focused on the correct message that I am to communicate and to have a very real temporal and spiritual testimony of it.

I will literally be riding outside again next week. I am healing quickly and ability is returning rapidly. Today I was able to fully dress myself! :) I talked with a bike shop employee last night who also was hit by a car years ago and broke his clavicle. He had muscle damage as well and required surgery. He was back on his bike inside a week. He got an insurance settlement for his injury. He used it to buy an expensive racing bike as it had always been his dream. He talked about how much that accident changed and saved his life for the better and that the discomfort of that accident was so miniscule compared to the health benefits he has received over the last 20 years of riding. I got teary listening to him as I felt the truth of what he said. "Accidents" tend do do that; change us for the better, if we let them.

Life is risk. It is dangerous. Sometimes it is pain. Becoming excellent at something means risking misery and pain as it teaches us excellence and becoming more like God. Living "small", not doing what it takes to learn excellence, living in fear, afraid of failure and pain only keep us small. The joy, mental clarity, inspiration, weight loss and overall health benefits I've experienced will keep me riding despite this temporary setback. Temporally and spiritually, I will remain fully engaged in the battle and keep on the full armor of God.