Team Shawn and Amy

Shawn cycled with me a couple of days ago. It was the first time in a month. Our schedules haven't worked to enjoy a ride together. By that, I mean that Shawn hates going at the time I go, and I find it too difficult as the mother of nine, to go at any other time.

I get up at 4:45 AM and feed the baby until 5:45 AM. Monday through Saturday, I leave on my ride at 6:00 AM. It takes me an hour and forty minutes to get my 25 miles in, so I am home by 7:45 AM to start breakfast. Shawn is just getting up at that time and gathering everyone for scriptures and prayer. We realized long ago that our sleep requirements are very different. If I get more than 5-6 hours of sleep, I am useless, overtired, and apathetic. Shawn is just the opposite, if he gets any less than 8 hours of sleep, he has the same results. Early morning riding didn't appeal to Shawn at all because of either the cut into his sleep time, or the mandatory earlier bedtime it would require.

Despite his distaste for an early ride, we each compromised on the departure time and decided that we'd go at 6:30 AM. He was groggy and found it difficult to perform well. Out of frustration he said he wanted to go home about five miles into the ride because I was so far ahead of him most of the time. He hasn't ridden in a month, I reminded him. I became more conscientious of where he was behind me and decided to slow down. He continued on and finished out the ride.

After the ride, and throughout the day, he complained of being absolutely drained of energy. I ended up taking all the kids for a drive with me to Provo to bring Aura's scriptures to her on the BYU campus, as she forgot them that morning in her haste to leave for EFY. Christian drove us down there in the Excursion. I was so impressed with his calm focus under the stress of crying kids, road barricades, traffic congestion, dark, and lack of an address on campus...but that's another story. Our absence and the quiet that ensued, allowed Shawn to go to bed early and catch up on much needed sleep.

Because of his exhaustion, I assumed he wouldn't want to go again the next day, so I went alone again at my 6:00 AM time. When I got home he said he had gotten ready to leave at 6:30 and was disappointed that I'd already gone, so disappointed in fact, he went back to bed :) I apologized for my assumption. I made sure to wake him up the next day to go with me again.

We rode together and I made a greater effort to watch his pace. Halfway through the ride we had a brief upset and exchange of frustrations. I complained that his pace was too erratic , he complained that I was holding back. As with all our disagreements, a two minute burst of passion is all it takes to voice the problem and clear it up. We immediately agreed that we each have unique strengths in riding. He is incredible at the hard riding--steep, brutal, short bursts of power, I am a distance, endurance rider, requiring a good pace that allows strength over long periods of time and conserving power for a strong finish. When our skills are combined, we equal one phenomenal rider. Such is our marriage, really.

With four miles left of the ride, I hit a rock that caused an immediate and completely flat tire. Shawn had the tube changed out and the bike ready to go in under five minutes. I could have changed it if it had happened while I was alone, but it would have taken me at least 30 minutes!

After the ride, when Shawn went into the office to work, the kids and I spent several hours yesterday morning digging through a long lost plastic tub of family photos. I came across an article about Shawn from 1990 when he was 17 years old. I'd read it before and he told me the story years ago, but it wasn't until reading it again, and having years of first hand knowledge and understanding about Shawn, that I really appreciated the inspiration I had while reading.

Shawn and a friend had hiked to the top of Rock Canyon in Provo in t-shirts and shorts on a December afternoon. They planned to rappel down. They rappelled partway down a sheer cliff ledge and accidentally cut their rope on a rock. This shortened their rope considerably and made it so they could not complete their descent to the canyon floor. They were stranded on a cliff ledge for hours and were very cold when it got dark. They yelled, sang loudly, and flashed help signals with a flashlight. Someone saw their light and called police. An eight man rescue team brought them down off of the cliff. The ignominy of the situation was only heightened by the article in the paper in which their names were used.

In all the years I have known Shawn, he has always had a strong penchant for preparedness. Everywhere we go, everything we do, he is always more than prepared with everything from first aid, to food and water, money, to gear and back up supplies. It hit me yesterday, that he learned this lesson on that cliff ledge twenty years ago. I talked to the kids about it as we looked at pictures. They know how prepared he is too, so the lesson seemed very obvious to them as well. When Shawn returned from work, he passed me holding a new bike tube and several CO2 cartridges on his way to put them in my underseat bike pack. It reminded me to tell him about the observation I made. I got the article out and he re-read it. He said he had never consciously thought about when he started being so prepared, but realized that the experience had changed his life and did teach him the life-saving importance of being temporally prepared.

This morning we rode together again. This time we were both conscientious of our pace and were enjoying our shared ride. I was listening to the Book of Mormon on my ipod, and was at Alma 32. I had just summited a long hill and was resting happily on a descent. I was completely engrossed and enraptured in Alma's sermon on angels ministering to men, women, and children and a discourse on faith being like a seed that when planted and nourished, grows to a great tree from whence the fruit of eternal life can be picked. I was in such a state of reverie, pedalling along at 30 mph, that I did not hear Shawn when he yelled to me. I didn't know that he was trying to get my attention, until I caught the blur of something orange in my peripheral vision, and turned my head. Shawn was pedaling furiously to catch up to me on a newly finished road that had not been open the day before. It paralleled the road I was on, with a rocky park strip between us. He was excitedly yelling "Amy! Watch out!" and pointing ahead. I looked ahead and saw a concrete barrier spanning the entire road in front of me with no way around it. I grabbed hold of my brakes and squeezed as hard as I could, praying I could stop in time. I stopped about five feet short of slamming it head on.

I stood there, staring at the thick, 2.5 foot gray wall in front of me. I was stunned and speechless, then the tears came. I couldn't believe I had not even noticed the danger up ahead. How could I have not seen or noticed a concrete wall? If Shawn had not gotten my attention and warned me of the danger, I would have hit it with tremendous force. There is no doubt it would have done some serious damage to me and my bike.

Shawn was also surprised I didn't see the concrete wall, but noticed that I seemed to be smiling and enjoying myself, caught up in the moment. He noticed that my eyes were on the road directly in front of me, and not on the horizon and what was ahead. I was reminded of the need to not only be aware of the immediate choices and decisions of the moment, but to look beyond them often, to the eternal perspective, the big picture, the vast vision of the future ahead to better make course corrections in the moment that would facilitate the safe arrival at the pre-determined course in the distance.

When I got back on my bike and started again, this time on the parallel road next to Shawn, my mind took in the many applications for this experience. I realized that I had just been greatly humbled. I wasn't aware that I had been in such a state of pride. The pride I suffered is one of independence. I can get that way from time to time. I had been riding on my own for the last month and was confident in my own ability. I also thought of those parallel roads. They were both going the same direction, but one was deadly. What a metaphor. This experience reminded me how much I do need Shawn and how great we are for, and with, each other. Sometimes he warns me of a danger I don't notice, and sometimes it is me warning him. This state of interdependence is the whole point of marriage. We do make an incredible team.
Today I will be thinking about the blessing that is my marriage to Shawn, the big picture, humility, and interdependence. I feel so grateful and blessed I was spared physical trauma or death and have the luxury of contemplating these truths. I will also continue to ponder the importance of not only spiritual preparedness, but temporal preparedness as well. It does take both to achieve any kind of real safety of body, mind and spirit.

The Existence and Assistance of Angels

I have always believed in mortal angels--those who are inspired to meet the needs of others, thereby doing the Lord's work on earth. Today was another reminder that heavenly angels are in great supply as well and are actively working in my life.

At 6:15 AM, I set out on my bike on my morning ride. Despite the clear skies and sun, it was cold for a day late in May, so I made sure to wear my full gloves, rather than my fingerless ones, a long sleeve shirt under my riding jersey, and thick cycling pants. 12 miles into a 20 mile loop I like, I met with disaster.

I was going 23 miles per hour in the bike lane on Redwood Road, just north of Bangerter Highway, when suddenly, a car in the lane to the left of me made an abrupt turn into the bike lane, careening into me on my left side. The driver was attempting to pass a slower car in front of him by passing on the right and using the bike lane as a driving lane. He didn't look before swerving and sent me and my bike rolling toward the curb. It all happened so fast, I scarcely had time to think "uh-oh." I eventually landed on my back in the parking strip above the curb, still clipped into my right pedal.

I sat up, felt a burning pain shoot through my left shoulder, and laid back down. The driver came running to me, apologizing all the way. Two other motorists who had witnessed the accident sat down near me as well. One called the police and paramedics, who arrived shortly to assess my condition.

Upon removing my helmet, it was discovered that it was completely dented in on the right side and was broken through in large cracks in three places. My helmet was obliterated, I had obviously bounced on my head, but I did not have any head, neck, or back trauma. Even the paramedics marvelled at the miracle they were witnessing. Because of my thick cycling pants and jersey, there were no abrasions on the places I landed, only rub marks and light snagging of the material. Now I understand the purpose of those ugly cycling clothes. :) My elbow was the only place road rash hit as the long sleeve shirt I was wearing wasn't as protective as the cycling clothes I had on everywhere else.

Because I was lucid and "ok," I felt it an expensive waste to be transported by ambulance and refused ambulance service. I know it was going on the driver's insurance, but it was unnecessary and would be very costly, so I waited for Shawn to arrive to ride with him to the hospital instead. During that time, the driver, who was an 18 year old high school student on the way to school, told me that he'd gotten his first ever speeding ticket the day before. I told him that our experience was life telling him to learn patience. :) I felt so bad for him, as he was extremely distraught and apologetic. I assured him that "we were cool" and not to worry as I knew I'd be fine.

When Shawn arrived, he checked my bike and told me it had a tilt to the frame, as well as broken shifters, and brake handles. He put it in the back of the truck and helped me get into the front seat comfortably. After getting insurance information and the police report, we headed to the hospital. It was a 2 hour emergency room visit to get x-rays and my elbow bandaged. I awaited the news that I had a broken clavicle. I was so glad to hear that's all it was. If it was dislocated, I would have had to be sedated to have it popped back in. If the muscles were torn badly, I may have had to have surgical interventions and in both those cases, months, even years of pain. I really did have the best case scenario considering the scope of possible injuries. I felt very blessed and grateful. A broken clavicle is a 4-6 week healing time through the wearing of a posture-perfecting sling.

It was obvious I had been cared for by angels who protected me. It was ironic that Shawn had been listening to the Lance Armstrong autobiography on his ipod the night before. When he turned it off, he recounted some facts from the story. He said that Lance had been run off the road and hit by cars more times than he could count, as well as having broken his clavicle as many times. I remember thinking on the possibilities and odds of getting hurt as he told me about it. Little did I know I'd learn first hand the next morning. When I was sitting on the curb chatting with the witnesses, one remarked "It looks like you'll be okay. You just won't be surfing for a little while." It was such an off-hand remark. I remembered something. We had been scheduled to go to Hawaii on May 27 for a family trip, which would have been just two days after the accident. At the beginning of the month, for other minor reasons, we decided to reschedule it until September. What a miracle! I would have been miserable not being able to hike volcanoes, zipline through the jungle, or surf!

While waiting for the results of the x-ray, I pondered over the events of the morning. I don't believe in "accidents." I think the word "accident" describes an experience or event we would not necessarily choose for ourselves. Accidents and the lessons that come from them are an integral part of our learning and growth process in mortal life, and are individually crafted to suit each of our needs. I was texting Aura telling her about what was going on. I told her that I got to be the instrument of a young man's progression as well as my own that morning. She asked me what I learned. I said "I am profoundly grateful for life, family, health, home, attitude, agency, the Gospel, and am again acutely reminded of the literal battle for souls." After further thought, I elaborated "I also realize it was an opportunity to be tested on forgiveness or bitterness. I sincerely am forgiving. I love that young man and pray he forgives himself." Aura said "Thank heavens for helmets. Oh, and angels!" to which I replied "Amen! :)"



It looks like I'll be cycling on a stationary bike for the next 4-6 weeks either at the gym or with the winter trainer we have at home. Maybe Shawn can even set it up outside for me. :) I don't want to lose the strength acquired in my legs and heart that I've been building over the past 10 weeks since I started cycling, nor disrupt the positive effects of cycling on my weight loss plans. In the last 10 weeks, I've ridden 754.18 miles and lost 24 lbs. Can't wait to get back outside, on the road again!

I've often thought that I want to leave life used up, spent, burned out, full of experiences and living in my years, complete. I don't want to leave with regrets of what might have been. I love this quote by Abraham Lincoln, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Getting hit by a car is just another one of those experiences, and gratefully, another opportunity to spend a morning with the guardian angels that have supported, uplifted, and literally saved me on numerous other occasions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a brush with death any time soon, I've actually had too many this year so far, but I'm so grateful to those angels!

Amy Kenney