Team Shawn and Amy

Shawn cycled with me a couple of days ago. It was the first time in a month. Our schedules haven't worked to enjoy a ride together. By that, I mean that Shawn hates going at the time I go, and I find it too difficult as the mother of nine, to go at any other time.

I get up at 4:45 AM and feed the baby until 5:45 AM. Monday through Saturday, I leave on my ride at 6:00 AM. It takes me an hour and forty minutes to get my 25 miles in, so I am home by 7:45 AM to start breakfast. Shawn is just getting up at that time and gathering everyone for scriptures and prayer. We realized long ago that our sleep requirements are very different. If I get more than 5-6 hours of sleep, I am useless, overtired, and apathetic. Shawn is just the opposite, if he gets any less than 8 hours of sleep, he has the same results. Early morning riding didn't appeal to Shawn at all because of either the cut into his sleep time, or the mandatory earlier bedtime it would require.

Despite his distaste for an early ride, we each compromised on the departure time and decided that we'd go at 6:30 AM. He was groggy and found it difficult to perform well. Out of frustration he said he wanted to go home about five miles into the ride because I was so far ahead of him most of the time. He hasn't ridden in a month, I reminded him. I became more conscientious of where he was behind me and decided to slow down. He continued on and finished out the ride.

After the ride, and throughout the day, he complained of being absolutely drained of energy. I ended up taking all the kids for a drive with me to Provo to bring Aura's scriptures to her on the BYU campus, as she forgot them that morning in her haste to leave for EFY. Christian drove us down there in the Excursion. I was so impressed with his calm focus under the stress of crying kids, road barricades, traffic congestion, dark, and lack of an address on campus...but that's another story. Our absence and the quiet that ensued, allowed Shawn to go to bed early and catch up on much needed sleep.

Because of his exhaustion, I assumed he wouldn't want to go again the next day, so I went alone again at my 6:00 AM time. When I got home he said he had gotten ready to leave at 6:30 and was disappointed that I'd already gone, so disappointed in fact, he went back to bed :) I apologized for my assumption. I made sure to wake him up the next day to go with me again.

We rode together and I made a greater effort to watch his pace. Halfway through the ride we had a brief upset and exchange of frustrations. I complained that his pace was too erratic , he complained that I was holding back. As with all our disagreements, a two minute burst of passion is all it takes to voice the problem and clear it up. We immediately agreed that we each have unique strengths in riding. He is incredible at the hard riding--steep, brutal, short bursts of power, I am a distance, endurance rider, requiring a good pace that allows strength over long periods of time and conserving power for a strong finish. When our skills are combined, we equal one phenomenal rider. Such is our marriage, really.

With four miles left of the ride, I hit a rock that caused an immediate and completely flat tire. Shawn had the tube changed out and the bike ready to go in under five minutes. I could have changed it if it had happened while I was alone, but it would have taken me at least 30 minutes!

After the ride, when Shawn went into the office to work, the kids and I spent several hours yesterday morning digging through a long lost plastic tub of family photos. I came across an article about Shawn from 1990 when he was 17 years old. I'd read it before and he told me the story years ago, but it wasn't until reading it again, and having years of first hand knowledge and understanding about Shawn, that I really appreciated the inspiration I had while reading.

Shawn and a friend had hiked to the top of Rock Canyon in Provo in t-shirts and shorts on a December afternoon. They planned to rappel down. They rappelled partway down a sheer cliff ledge and accidentally cut their rope on a rock. This shortened their rope considerably and made it so they could not complete their descent to the canyon floor. They were stranded on a cliff ledge for hours and were very cold when it got dark. They yelled, sang loudly, and flashed help signals with a flashlight. Someone saw their light and called police. An eight man rescue team brought them down off of the cliff. The ignominy of the situation was only heightened by the article in the paper in which their names were used.

In all the years I have known Shawn, he has always had a strong penchant for preparedness. Everywhere we go, everything we do, he is always more than prepared with everything from first aid, to food and water, money, to gear and back up supplies. It hit me yesterday, that he learned this lesson on that cliff ledge twenty years ago. I talked to the kids about it as we looked at pictures. They know how prepared he is too, so the lesson seemed very obvious to them as well. When Shawn returned from work, he passed me holding a new bike tube and several CO2 cartridges on his way to put them in my underseat bike pack. It reminded me to tell him about the observation I made. I got the article out and he re-read it. He said he had never consciously thought about when he started being so prepared, but realized that the experience had changed his life and did teach him the life-saving importance of being temporally prepared.

This morning we rode together again. This time we were both conscientious of our pace and were enjoying our shared ride. I was listening to the Book of Mormon on my ipod, and was at Alma 32. I had just summited a long hill and was resting happily on a descent. I was completely engrossed and enraptured in Alma's sermon on angels ministering to men, women, and children and a discourse on faith being like a seed that when planted and nourished, grows to a great tree from whence the fruit of eternal life can be picked. I was in such a state of reverie, pedalling along at 30 mph, that I did not hear Shawn when he yelled to me. I didn't know that he was trying to get my attention, until I caught the blur of something orange in my peripheral vision, and turned my head. Shawn was pedaling furiously to catch up to me on a newly finished road that had not been open the day before. It paralleled the road I was on, with a rocky park strip between us. He was excitedly yelling "Amy! Watch out!" and pointing ahead. I looked ahead and saw a concrete barrier spanning the entire road in front of me with no way around it. I grabbed hold of my brakes and squeezed as hard as I could, praying I could stop in time. I stopped about five feet short of slamming it head on.

I stood there, staring at the thick, 2.5 foot gray wall in front of me. I was stunned and speechless, then the tears came. I couldn't believe I had not even noticed the danger up ahead. How could I have not seen or noticed a concrete wall? If Shawn had not gotten my attention and warned me of the danger, I would have hit it with tremendous force. There is no doubt it would have done some serious damage to me and my bike.

Shawn was also surprised I didn't see the concrete wall, but noticed that I seemed to be smiling and enjoying myself, caught up in the moment. He noticed that my eyes were on the road directly in front of me, and not on the horizon and what was ahead. I was reminded of the need to not only be aware of the immediate choices and decisions of the moment, but to look beyond them often, to the eternal perspective, the big picture, the vast vision of the future ahead to better make course corrections in the moment that would facilitate the safe arrival at the pre-determined course in the distance.

When I got back on my bike and started again, this time on the parallel road next to Shawn, my mind took in the many applications for this experience. I realized that I had just been greatly humbled. I wasn't aware that I had been in such a state of pride. The pride I suffered is one of independence. I can get that way from time to time. I had been riding on my own for the last month and was confident in my own ability. I also thought of those parallel roads. They were both going the same direction, but one was deadly. What a metaphor. This experience reminded me how much I do need Shawn and how great we are for, and with, each other. Sometimes he warns me of a danger I don't notice, and sometimes it is me warning him. This state of interdependence is the whole point of marriage. We do make an incredible team.
Today I will be thinking about the blessing that is my marriage to Shawn, the big picture, humility, and interdependence. I feel so grateful and blessed I was spared physical trauma or death and have the luxury of contemplating these truths. I will also continue to ponder the importance of not only spiritual preparedness, but temporal preparedness as well. It does take both to achieve any kind of real safety of body, mind and spirit.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles

I've always liked the saying "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." It's true. It's also true that the journey of a thousand miles by bicycle begins with a single revolution of the pedals. :) I recently experienced the joy of having ridden my first thousand miles on my new bicycle. As of Friday, June 11, 2010, my total mileage, since purchasing a bike on March 11, 2010 was 1,097.48. My weekly rides are now at 151.2 miles, so the next thousand miles should occur in half the time or less.

I am a sucker for stats. Results don't lie. I keep detailed stats on days I ride, mileage, routes, calories burned, total weight loss, etc. Shawn got me a handy little tool for that as well. I love my Garmin bike computer and all the detailed info it captures. I have now lost 30 lbs. over the last three months and met the halfway mark to my overall goal of losing 60 lbs. in six months. This reminds me how much I am looking forward to September; my goal deadline, our family trip to Hawaii, and re-inhabitance of the body I have missed through years of many back to back pregnancies.

Even better than the tangible rewards of health and fitness a thousand miles has offered, are the subtle changes in my mind and spirit since beginning the journey. While riding a couple of days ago, pushing uphill in strong wind, I realized how much I enjoyed it. I loved it even more than the downhill descent on the other side. I remember back to when I only summited a hill to have the downhill experience. Now, I choose the hills for the burn, exhilaration, and challenge of the hill; especially the strength it offers. I often find myself sprinting the ascent, standing up on the pedals, for added challenge. The downhill is just a brief rest from the burn, not the goal or the motivation.

My observation and awareness have increased. I've been rewarded with some beautiful and poignant moments through becoming more in tune with my surroundings. A few weeks ago, as I cycled past a cemetery, I became aware of an older gentleman kneeling on one knee, arms full of roses, leaning over the headstone of a loved one. He was completely unaware of me, swallowed up in grief. As our proximity narrowed, his whole upper body crumpled over, his frame hunched and sobbing. In that moment, as his heart broke and wept, mine did too. I sobbed and prayed for him and his loss for the next mile or two.

A couple of days ago, I passed twin girls who looked to be about eight or nine years old. They were walking on the sidewalk, backpacks on their backs. I remember thinking how sad it was that they looked to be in year round school on such a beautiful summer morning. They took their backpacks off and dropped them at their feet. In a face to face stance in the middle of the sidewalk, they bowed their heads, closed their eyes, and folded their arms, in an obvious prayer together. The moment was sublime. Though I do not know who they were or the reason for their prayer, I was touched to have witnessed it.

Recently it occurred to me that an hour and forty minutes a day on a bicycle, was the perfect time to listen to scripture; to make the best use of that meditation time. The good music I was previously listening to was just that, good, but a deeper appreciation for scripture and the inspiration provided by studying it, would be the best. Much inspiration has followed because of that decision to change and more focus my use of time. I can feel my spiritual strength increasing the same way my physical body has increased in strength.

Yesterday, I experienced an intense love for the beauty of the earth as I cycled through a rain shower. The sweet and pungent smell of wet earth, and the sensation of warm wind and cold rain, heightened my appreciation of the moment and put a huge smile on my face.

Cycling is a tool God is using to sharpen, deepen, and refine my purpose and commitment. I am a more devoted, useful, instrument in His hands because of it. My desire to serve, apply knowledge, live truth, and become more like Him continue to increase as well. I am daily reminded that mortality is brief, that every second counts, and that though life is meant to be enjoyable, it is also to be lived purposefully. I have much work to do before I sleep. I am reminded of the message of Robert Frost's timeless poem:

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Vision of Zion

In the summer of 2006, our family took a 27 state, 5 week, 8,015 mile journey across America. It was incredible; definitely an unforgettable family favorite. One of the stops we made was to visit the Kirtland Temple in Ohio. We also visited the Newell K. Whitney store, which was the location for many key revelations received by Joseph Smith, including the Word of Wisdom. The room above the store also became the place used as the training grounds for the first four prophets of the LDS church in what was known as the "School of the Prophets."

Standing in the "School of the Prophets" was overwhelmingly powerful for me. I was hit with inspiration so deeply and strongly, I could not ignore it. I knew I needed to start a "school" with the same attributes. The "School of the Prophets" was designed to teach world history, languages, upper mathematics, world cultures, ancient history, the wars and perplexities of the nations, manners and civility, and an in depth study of theology and religion as all subjects were taught through a gospel perspective, with Christ at the center of all truth.

The undeniable witness I felt was that this type of school was needed, not only for my children and those that would come to the classes, but to serve as an example of what is possible for others to replicate. Parents everywhere could make their own "schools," completely privatized, unfunded by government dollars, uncontrolled by compulsory laws, voluntary, staffed by educated, skillful, passionate, and God fearing instructors in an environment where God is welcome and invited rather than prohibited and shunned. The classes would be inexpensive and yet, superior to the government schools run by tax dollars. It would also be non-profit and rely on the work, effort, vision, and support of the families that utilized it.


Not long after returning home from the trip, I set to work on formulating a vision for this type of institution. I have always wanted to build a large "community center" type building to use for classes, parties, dances, political functions, meetings, community service projects, family support services, business endeavors, etc. much like the usage of the public libraries, only, it would be privately owned and under no such regulations, restrictions, and scrutiny as government owned buildings. As the vision got bigger and more defined, I started looking at large buildings to purchase. I looked at buildings that were minimally 7,000 SF, consequently making the sales price begin at about $500,000. Knowing that I didn't want to get a loan on the building, I started entertaining the idea of getting other investors to purchase the building with me, using cash so we would own it outright. I formulated the numbers and started looking for investors. If ten investors put up $50,000 a piece, we would easily be able to buy a building outright and negotiate quite a deal with our cash.

It soon became apparent within the diverse group of potential investors that our motives were different. Several potential investors were about the philanthropy and community impact of the project, while others were bent on a phenomenal profit margin that discouraged philanthropy. The tension over the use of the building and the lack of cohesion in the investment group started to make me doubt whether we could make the project work. When it looked as though we could not make it happen as a team, I started thinking about starting something on my own again. I immediately felt as though I was on the right track.

Along with the thought to press forward on my own, came a rememberance of a principle I have always utilized in entrepreneurship, and really, in life: start at the bottom stair (or ladder) and build upward. I realized that I had been trying to skip many steps by purchasing a building that I did not have the cash to purchase on my own. I knew that I had to start at the beginning and that if I built upward, like climbing stairs, I would eventually be at the place I could buy a building on my own and it would be when it was the logical "next step." A spiritual confirmation followed, so I set out to define and start at the beginning step.

In the fall of 2008, I started holding classes in our existing real estate office space for older teens. We had Seminary, Speech and Debate, Constitutional Studies, and History. By the spring of 2009, the vision had grown and I rented the space next door to our real estate office, formed a non-profit organization, and called it Vision of Zion. We used it in the summer as a place to audition, cast, and rehearse for our movie, Stand Strong. We used it in the fall of 2009 to start hosting an extended number of classes for teens as well as younger children. Month by month, new students, and excellent instructors kept manifesting themselves into the vision.

Because of the intensity of the inspiration, and the urgency to start Vision of Zion, I was sure that it had been for the purpose of spiritually aiding one of my children. It turned out that at the end of the 2009-2010 school year, that child had never attended a class, and will not be in the future. While contemplating that thought and the realization that was not the purpose, it occurred to me that amongst other things, Aura made a friend in her classes that she may never have met any other way. I felt a spiritual witness of that truth. Vision of Zion was started for many reasons, all of which were inspired.


I thoroughly enjoyed watching Vision of Zion blossom this year. As we just ended the school year, I have had some time to think about the many great families and youth I've come to know and love through our association at Vision of Zion. We finished out the year with a night games party last night. It was amazing to watch the 70+ youth who attended, run and chase and laugh. They are incredible youth and I'm so blessed to have gotten to know them.

Here is a link to the photos that were taken over the 2009-2010 school year. If you took photos or video of activities, parties, classes, or events, please share them on the site.

http://visionofzion.shutterfly.com/#

Next year's schedule is looking amazing and will start again the day after Labor Day, Tuesday, September 7, 2010. Hopefully, I am ambitious enough to get a website up for it soon!