Team Shawn and Amy

Shawn cycled with me a couple of days ago. It was the first time in a month. Our schedules haven't worked to enjoy a ride together. By that, I mean that Shawn hates going at the time I go, and I find it too difficult as the mother of nine, to go at any other time.

I get up at 4:45 AM and feed the baby until 5:45 AM. Monday through Saturday, I leave on my ride at 6:00 AM. It takes me an hour and forty minutes to get my 25 miles in, so I am home by 7:45 AM to start breakfast. Shawn is just getting up at that time and gathering everyone for scriptures and prayer. We realized long ago that our sleep requirements are very different. If I get more than 5-6 hours of sleep, I am useless, overtired, and apathetic. Shawn is just the opposite, if he gets any less than 8 hours of sleep, he has the same results. Early morning riding didn't appeal to Shawn at all because of either the cut into his sleep time, or the mandatory earlier bedtime it would require.

Despite his distaste for an early ride, we each compromised on the departure time and decided that we'd go at 6:30 AM. He was groggy and found it difficult to perform well. Out of frustration he said he wanted to go home about five miles into the ride because I was so far ahead of him most of the time. He hasn't ridden in a month, I reminded him. I became more conscientious of where he was behind me and decided to slow down. He continued on and finished out the ride.

After the ride, and throughout the day, he complained of being absolutely drained of energy. I ended up taking all the kids for a drive with me to Provo to bring Aura's scriptures to her on the BYU campus, as she forgot them that morning in her haste to leave for EFY. Christian drove us down there in the Excursion. I was so impressed with his calm focus under the stress of crying kids, road barricades, traffic congestion, dark, and lack of an address on campus...but that's another story. Our absence and the quiet that ensued, allowed Shawn to go to bed early and catch up on much needed sleep.

Because of his exhaustion, I assumed he wouldn't want to go again the next day, so I went alone again at my 6:00 AM time. When I got home he said he had gotten ready to leave at 6:30 and was disappointed that I'd already gone, so disappointed in fact, he went back to bed :) I apologized for my assumption. I made sure to wake him up the next day to go with me again.

We rode together and I made a greater effort to watch his pace. Halfway through the ride we had a brief upset and exchange of frustrations. I complained that his pace was too erratic , he complained that I was holding back. As with all our disagreements, a two minute burst of passion is all it takes to voice the problem and clear it up. We immediately agreed that we each have unique strengths in riding. He is incredible at the hard riding--steep, brutal, short bursts of power, I am a distance, endurance rider, requiring a good pace that allows strength over long periods of time and conserving power for a strong finish. When our skills are combined, we equal one phenomenal rider. Such is our marriage, really.

With four miles left of the ride, I hit a rock that caused an immediate and completely flat tire. Shawn had the tube changed out and the bike ready to go in under five minutes. I could have changed it if it had happened while I was alone, but it would have taken me at least 30 minutes!

After the ride, when Shawn went into the office to work, the kids and I spent several hours yesterday morning digging through a long lost plastic tub of family photos. I came across an article about Shawn from 1990 when he was 17 years old. I'd read it before and he told me the story years ago, but it wasn't until reading it again, and having years of first hand knowledge and understanding about Shawn, that I really appreciated the inspiration I had while reading.

Shawn and a friend had hiked to the top of Rock Canyon in Provo in t-shirts and shorts on a December afternoon. They planned to rappel down. They rappelled partway down a sheer cliff ledge and accidentally cut their rope on a rock. This shortened their rope considerably and made it so they could not complete their descent to the canyon floor. They were stranded on a cliff ledge for hours and were very cold when it got dark. They yelled, sang loudly, and flashed help signals with a flashlight. Someone saw their light and called police. An eight man rescue team brought them down off of the cliff. The ignominy of the situation was only heightened by the article in the paper in which their names were used.

In all the years I have known Shawn, he has always had a strong penchant for preparedness. Everywhere we go, everything we do, he is always more than prepared with everything from first aid, to food and water, money, to gear and back up supplies. It hit me yesterday, that he learned this lesson on that cliff ledge twenty years ago. I talked to the kids about it as we looked at pictures. They know how prepared he is too, so the lesson seemed very obvious to them as well. When Shawn returned from work, he passed me holding a new bike tube and several CO2 cartridges on his way to put them in my underseat bike pack. It reminded me to tell him about the observation I made. I got the article out and he re-read it. He said he had never consciously thought about when he started being so prepared, but realized that the experience had changed his life and did teach him the life-saving importance of being temporally prepared.

This morning we rode together again. This time we were both conscientious of our pace and were enjoying our shared ride. I was listening to the Book of Mormon on my ipod, and was at Alma 32. I had just summited a long hill and was resting happily on a descent. I was completely engrossed and enraptured in Alma's sermon on angels ministering to men, women, and children and a discourse on faith being like a seed that when planted and nourished, grows to a great tree from whence the fruit of eternal life can be picked. I was in such a state of reverie, pedalling along at 30 mph, that I did not hear Shawn when he yelled to me. I didn't know that he was trying to get my attention, until I caught the blur of something orange in my peripheral vision, and turned my head. Shawn was pedaling furiously to catch up to me on a newly finished road that had not been open the day before. It paralleled the road I was on, with a rocky park strip between us. He was excitedly yelling "Amy! Watch out!" and pointing ahead. I looked ahead and saw a concrete barrier spanning the entire road in front of me with no way around it. I grabbed hold of my brakes and squeezed as hard as I could, praying I could stop in time. I stopped about five feet short of slamming it head on.

I stood there, staring at the thick, 2.5 foot gray wall in front of me. I was stunned and speechless, then the tears came. I couldn't believe I had not even noticed the danger up ahead. How could I have not seen or noticed a concrete wall? If Shawn had not gotten my attention and warned me of the danger, I would have hit it with tremendous force. There is no doubt it would have done some serious damage to me and my bike.

Shawn was also surprised I didn't see the concrete wall, but noticed that I seemed to be smiling and enjoying myself, caught up in the moment. He noticed that my eyes were on the road directly in front of me, and not on the horizon and what was ahead. I was reminded of the need to not only be aware of the immediate choices and decisions of the moment, but to look beyond them often, to the eternal perspective, the big picture, the vast vision of the future ahead to better make course corrections in the moment that would facilitate the safe arrival at the pre-determined course in the distance.

When I got back on my bike and started again, this time on the parallel road next to Shawn, my mind took in the many applications for this experience. I realized that I had just been greatly humbled. I wasn't aware that I had been in such a state of pride. The pride I suffered is one of independence. I can get that way from time to time. I had been riding on my own for the last month and was confident in my own ability. I also thought of those parallel roads. They were both going the same direction, but one was deadly. What a metaphor. This experience reminded me how much I do need Shawn and how great we are for, and with, each other. Sometimes he warns me of a danger I don't notice, and sometimes it is me warning him. This state of interdependence is the whole point of marriage. We do make an incredible team.
Today I will be thinking about the blessing that is my marriage to Shawn, the big picture, humility, and interdependence. I feel so grateful and blessed I was spared physical trauma or death and have the luxury of contemplating these truths. I will also continue to ponder the importance of not only spiritual preparedness, but temporal preparedness as well. It does take both to achieve any kind of real safety of body, mind and spirit.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles

I've always liked the saying "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." It's true. It's also true that the journey of a thousand miles by bicycle begins with a single revolution of the pedals. :) I recently experienced the joy of having ridden my first thousand miles on my new bicycle. As of Friday, June 11, 2010, my total mileage, since purchasing a bike on March 11, 2010 was 1,097.48. My weekly rides are now at 151.2 miles, so the next thousand miles should occur in half the time or less.

I am a sucker for stats. Results don't lie. I keep detailed stats on days I ride, mileage, routes, calories burned, total weight loss, etc. Shawn got me a handy little tool for that as well. I love my Garmin bike computer and all the detailed info it captures. I have now lost 30 lbs. over the last three months and met the halfway mark to my overall goal of losing 60 lbs. in six months. This reminds me how much I am looking forward to September; my goal deadline, our family trip to Hawaii, and re-inhabitance of the body I have missed through years of many back to back pregnancies.

Even better than the tangible rewards of health and fitness a thousand miles has offered, are the subtle changes in my mind and spirit since beginning the journey. While riding a couple of days ago, pushing uphill in strong wind, I realized how much I enjoyed it. I loved it even more than the downhill descent on the other side. I remember back to when I only summited a hill to have the downhill experience. Now, I choose the hills for the burn, exhilaration, and challenge of the hill; especially the strength it offers. I often find myself sprinting the ascent, standing up on the pedals, for added challenge. The downhill is just a brief rest from the burn, not the goal or the motivation.

My observation and awareness have increased. I've been rewarded with some beautiful and poignant moments through becoming more in tune with my surroundings. A few weeks ago, as I cycled past a cemetery, I became aware of an older gentleman kneeling on one knee, arms full of roses, leaning over the headstone of a loved one. He was completely unaware of me, swallowed up in grief. As our proximity narrowed, his whole upper body crumpled over, his frame hunched and sobbing. In that moment, as his heart broke and wept, mine did too. I sobbed and prayed for him and his loss for the next mile or two.

A couple of days ago, I passed twin girls who looked to be about eight or nine years old. They were walking on the sidewalk, backpacks on their backs. I remember thinking how sad it was that they looked to be in year round school on such a beautiful summer morning. They took their backpacks off and dropped them at their feet. In a face to face stance in the middle of the sidewalk, they bowed their heads, closed their eyes, and folded their arms, in an obvious prayer together. The moment was sublime. Though I do not know who they were or the reason for their prayer, I was touched to have witnessed it.

Recently it occurred to me that an hour and forty minutes a day on a bicycle, was the perfect time to listen to scripture; to make the best use of that meditation time. The good music I was previously listening to was just that, good, but a deeper appreciation for scripture and the inspiration provided by studying it, would be the best. Much inspiration has followed because of that decision to change and more focus my use of time. I can feel my spiritual strength increasing the same way my physical body has increased in strength.

Yesterday, I experienced an intense love for the beauty of the earth as I cycled through a rain shower. The sweet and pungent smell of wet earth, and the sensation of warm wind and cold rain, heightened my appreciation of the moment and put a huge smile on my face.

Cycling is a tool God is using to sharpen, deepen, and refine my purpose and commitment. I am a more devoted, useful, instrument in His hands because of it. My desire to serve, apply knowledge, live truth, and become more like Him continue to increase as well. I am daily reminded that mortality is brief, that every second counts, and that though life is meant to be enjoyable, it is also to be lived purposefully. I have much work to do before I sleep. I am reminded of the message of Robert Frost's timeless poem:

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Vision of Zion

In the summer of 2006, our family took a 27 state, 5 week, 8,015 mile journey across America. It was incredible; definitely an unforgettable family favorite. One of the stops we made was to visit the Kirtland Temple in Ohio. We also visited the Newell K. Whitney store, which was the location for many key revelations received by Joseph Smith, including the Word of Wisdom. The room above the store also became the place used as the training grounds for the first four prophets of the LDS church in what was known as the "School of the Prophets."

Standing in the "School of the Prophets" was overwhelmingly powerful for me. I was hit with inspiration so deeply and strongly, I could not ignore it. I knew I needed to start a "school" with the same attributes. The "School of the Prophets" was designed to teach world history, languages, upper mathematics, world cultures, ancient history, the wars and perplexities of the nations, manners and civility, and an in depth study of theology and religion as all subjects were taught through a gospel perspective, with Christ at the center of all truth.

The undeniable witness I felt was that this type of school was needed, not only for my children and those that would come to the classes, but to serve as an example of what is possible for others to replicate. Parents everywhere could make their own "schools," completely privatized, unfunded by government dollars, uncontrolled by compulsory laws, voluntary, staffed by educated, skillful, passionate, and God fearing instructors in an environment where God is welcome and invited rather than prohibited and shunned. The classes would be inexpensive and yet, superior to the government schools run by tax dollars. It would also be non-profit and rely on the work, effort, vision, and support of the families that utilized it.


Not long after returning home from the trip, I set to work on formulating a vision for this type of institution. I have always wanted to build a large "community center" type building to use for classes, parties, dances, political functions, meetings, community service projects, family support services, business endeavors, etc. much like the usage of the public libraries, only, it would be privately owned and under no such regulations, restrictions, and scrutiny as government owned buildings. As the vision got bigger and more defined, I started looking at large buildings to purchase. I looked at buildings that were minimally 7,000 SF, consequently making the sales price begin at about $500,000. Knowing that I didn't want to get a loan on the building, I started entertaining the idea of getting other investors to purchase the building with me, using cash so we would own it outright. I formulated the numbers and started looking for investors. If ten investors put up $50,000 a piece, we would easily be able to buy a building outright and negotiate quite a deal with our cash.

It soon became apparent within the diverse group of potential investors that our motives were different. Several potential investors were about the philanthropy and community impact of the project, while others were bent on a phenomenal profit margin that discouraged philanthropy. The tension over the use of the building and the lack of cohesion in the investment group started to make me doubt whether we could make the project work. When it looked as though we could not make it happen as a team, I started thinking about starting something on my own again. I immediately felt as though I was on the right track.

Along with the thought to press forward on my own, came a rememberance of a principle I have always utilized in entrepreneurship, and really, in life: start at the bottom stair (or ladder) and build upward. I realized that I had been trying to skip many steps by purchasing a building that I did not have the cash to purchase on my own. I knew that I had to start at the beginning and that if I built upward, like climbing stairs, I would eventually be at the place I could buy a building on my own and it would be when it was the logical "next step." A spiritual confirmation followed, so I set out to define and start at the beginning step.

In the fall of 2008, I started holding classes in our existing real estate office space for older teens. We had Seminary, Speech and Debate, Constitutional Studies, and History. By the spring of 2009, the vision had grown and I rented the space next door to our real estate office, formed a non-profit organization, and called it Vision of Zion. We used it in the summer as a place to audition, cast, and rehearse for our movie, Stand Strong. We used it in the fall of 2009 to start hosting an extended number of classes for teens as well as younger children. Month by month, new students, and excellent instructors kept manifesting themselves into the vision.

Because of the intensity of the inspiration, and the urgency to start Vision of Zion, I was sure that it had been for the purpose of spiritually aiding one of my children. It turned out that at the end of the 2009-2010 school year, that child had never attended a class, and will not be in the future. While contemplating that thought and the realization that was not the purpose, it occurred to me that amongst other things, Aura made a friend in her classes that she may never have met any other way. I felt a spiritual witness of that truth. Vision of Zion was started for many reasons, all of which were inspired.


I thoroughly enjoyed watching Vision of Zion blossom this year. As we just ended the school year, I have had some time to think about the many great families and youth I've come to know and love through our association at Vision of Zion. We finished out the year with a night games party last night. It was amazing to watch the 70+ youth who attended, run and chase and laugh. They are incredible youth and I'm so blessed to have gotten to know them.

Here is a link to the photos that were taken over the 2009-2010 school year. If you took photos or video of activities, parties, classes, or events, please share them on the site.

http://visionofzion.shutterfly.com/#

Next year's schedule is looking amazing and will start again the day after Labor Day, Tuesday, September 7, 2010. Hopefully, I am ambitious enough to get a website up for it soon!

4 Days Post Crash: Again Enjoying the Ride

So, initially I said it would be 4-6 weeks of "at home on an indoor trainer" before going back outside to ride. Since I have never been hit by a car and broken my clavicle before, I honestly thought that 4-6 weeks of healing sounded reasonable. But, that was before I knew what Heavenly Father wanted me to learn from the crash experience and that the position of my arms on the handle bars actually HELP the healing of my broken clavicle. I didn't know that 4 days would be sufficient. With that said, it is easy to see why I decided to return to my outdoor ride today.

I'm still high on the experience as I just got back from my regular 20 mile ride. I started out on the trainer, and I tried to stay content with it, but it was all wrong. Sunny days and good health are meant to be spent OUTSIDE. Heck, I ride on the blustery, cold and gray days where I seldom see another rider, so looking out the window on a gorgeous day like today and knowing that I have the physical capacity to ride, I couldn't stand being restrained any longer. Having mentally ridden my route as I pedaled on the trainer yesterday, and knowing that my shoulders can handle it, there was just no other reason to remain stuck on an indoor trainer another day. It was just time to get back outside. There is just no replacement for the sun, wind, hills, people, all that natural beauty beyond the walls of my living room.

Shawn was skittish and offered his concern over my decision to have him take my bike off the training block. I know that he could see the passion and determination in my eyes and conceded with a question. Are you sure you can do it? Of course I was. He lifted the bike off the trainer and brought it out on the lawn for me. He waved half heartedly as I pedaled down the street, head bowed and shaking, probably praying silently. I was. I thanked God for His goodness at granting me physical health. I was also shining the broadest smile I've mustered this week.

My ride was a phenomenal, incredible, awesome, amazing...all the great adjectives! I beat my previous best time on my 20 mile route by five minutes and burned more calories than usual. I know it was because I was so excited, grateful, and fired up about riding; about experiencing freedom after the temporary loss of it.

It is nothing short of a miracle that I could be hit by a car on Tuesday and experience a broken clavicle, and be able to return to my normal rides on Saturday of the same week. I have experienced and am grateful for the Lord's tender mercies. I feel very blessed indeed. At the time of this writing, my normal range of motion has almost completely returned for my left arm--the one with the broken clavicle. Pain is minimal and I feel an overall presence of healing.

Part of my decision to get back out on my bike so quickly after such an accident was about being an example of faith and fortitude to my children. I am all too aware of the fact that example is the best teacher, far more powerful than words. There was so much I wanted to convey to them about pressing on with a good attitude, especially in the face of pain and misery. What better way to teach this lesson than to live it? I know they will be required to do difficult things over the course of their lives and I want them to look back and draw on past experiences for strength, especially if I'm no longer here to teach them. My example of living a miracle is meant to teach them to believe in miracles too.

The rest of the reason was to fulfill my purpose, to be the best instrument I can be in the hands of the Lord. As long as my heart is beating and there is breath in my lungs, I will do all that is required for good to complete His will on earth. My capacity to perform the tasks He needs will continue to enlarge as I put my faith to use.

Amy Kenney

After the Crash: The Purpose in the Pain

Last night we picked up my bike from the bike shop after getting it repaired. Luckily, the damages to it, like the ones I sustained, were minor. I got a new helmet and some new cycling clothes as mine have gotten too big anyway. I rode my bike across the parking lot and my smile was beaming! It just so happens that the angle of leaning to grip the handlebars is just the proper stance and pressure to hold a broken clavicle in the correct healing position. :)

This morning I rode the trainer in my living room. Shawn set it up to face the window and opened it for me so the wind was on my face. I was amazed at the irony of the ride. When I am out riding on the street, I can mentally be other places, thinking about other things. When I was riding the trainer, my mind was out on my regular 20 mile route. I was able to visualize stride for stride, exactly where I would be on the ride by the music and muscle memory. I stood up on the pedals in the places I normally would to get up a hill or get through a light. I even pulled in the driveway at home right as the music went back to the first song--the place it always gets to when I'm done. I checked the time and exactly an hour and a half had passed just as it does when I ride 20 miles outside. Of course outside is better, but I'm contenting myself with what my protective Other Half (aka Shawn) feels is a good idea right now.



During that time today, I was thinking about my injury and how it really was so minimal in the overall scheme of things. I mean, I was hit by a car. I wondered at the purpose for it. In that moment, a rush of inspiration entered my mind powerfully, as Heavenly Father told me what it was about. He was getting my attention, just as He did through my birth, and near death experience with my last baby, Matthew. He focused my mind on the fact that I was fully geared up, protected, covered by the proper helmet, gloves, and clothing, and that I had been obedient to all traffic laws, and that because I was obedient and prepared, my damages were minimal. Metaphorically, I had on the full armor of God. I was not destroyed by the fiery darts of the adversary. I experienced the physical representation of being attacked, yet being shielded by the armor of God and its subsequent protection.

God wanted my mind and heart focused on this fact in my preparation to create Battle For Souls. He wants my mind and heart focused on the correct message that I am to communicate and to have a very real temporal and spiritual testimony of it.

I will literally be riding outside again next week. I am healing quickly and ability is returning rapidly. Today I was able to fully dress myself! :) I talked with a bike shop employee last night who also was hit by a car years ago and broke his clavicle. He had muscle damage as well and required surgery. He was back on his bike inside a week. He got an insurance settlement for his injury. He used it to buy an expensive racing bike as it had always been his dream. He talked about how much that accident changed and saved his life for the better and that the discomfort of that accident was so miniscule compared to the health benefits he has received over the last 20 years of riding. I got teary listening to him as I felt the truth of what he said. "Accidents" tend do do that; change us for the better, if we let them.

Life is risk. It is dangerous. Sometimes it is pain. Becoming excellent at something means risking misery and pain as it teaches us excellence and becoming more like God. Living "small", not doing what it takes to learn excellence, living in fear, afraid of failure and pain only keep us small. The joy, mental clarity, inspiration, weight loss and overall health benefits I've experienced will keep me riding despite this temporary setback. Temporally and spiritually, I will remain fully engaged in the battle and keep on the full armor of God.

The Existence and Assistance of Angels

I have always believed in mortal angels--those who are inspired to meet the needs of others, thereby doing the Lord's work on earth. Today was another reminder that heavenly angels are in great supply as well and are actively working in my life.

At 6:15 AM, I set out on my bike on my morning ride. Despite the clear skies and sun, it was cold for a day late in May, so I made sure to wear my full gloves, rather than my fingerless ones, a long sleeve shirt under my riding jersey, and thick cycling pants. 12 miles into a 20 mile loop I like, I met with disaster.

I was going 23 miles per hour in the bike lane on Redwood Road, just north of Bangerter Highway, when suddenly, a car in the lane to the left of me made an abrupt turn into the bike lane, careening into me on my left side. The driver was attempting to pass a slower car in front of him by passing on the right and using the bike lane as a driving lane. He didn't look before swerving and sent me and my bike rolling toward the curb. It all happened so fast, I scarcely had time to think "uh-oh." I eventually landed on my back in the parking strip above the curb, still clipped into my right pedal.

I sat up, felt a burning pain shoot through my left shoulder, and laid back down. The driver came running to me, apologizing all the way. Two other motorists who had witnessed the accident sat down near me as well. One called the police and paramedics, who arrived shortly to assess my condition.

Upon removing my helmet, it was discovered that it was completely dented in on the right side and was broken through in large cracks in three places. My helmet was obliterated, I had obviously bounced on my head, but I did not have any head, neck, or back trauma. Even the paramedics marvelled at the miracle they were witnessing. Because of my thick cycling pants and jersey, there were no abrasions on the places I landed, only rub marks and light snagging of the material. Now I understand the purpose of those ugly cycling clothes. :) My elbow was the only place road rash hit as the long sleeve shirt I was wearing wasn't as protective as the cycling clothes I had on everywhere else.

Because I was lucid and "ok," I felt it an expensive waste to be transported by ambulance and refused ambulance service. I know it was going on the driver's insurance, but it was unnecessary and would be very costly, so I waited for Shawn to arrive to ride with him to the hospital instead. During that time, the driver, who was an 18 year old high school student on the way to school, told me that he'd gotten his first ever speeding ticket the day before. I told him that our experience was life telling him to learn patience. :) I felt so bad for him, as he was extremely distraught and apologetic. I assured him that "we were cool" and not to worry as I knew I'd be fine.

When Shawn arrived, he checked my bike and told me it had a tilt to the frame, as well as broken shifters, and brake handles. He put it in the back of the truck and helped me get into the front seat comfortably. After getting insurance information and the police report, we headed to the hospital. It was a 2 hour emergency room visit to get x-rays and my elbow bandaged. I awaited the news that I had a broken clavicle. I was so glad to hear that's all it was. If it was dislocated, I would have had to be sedated to have it popped back in. If the muscles were torn badly, I may have had to have surgical interventions and in both those cases, months, even years of pain. I really did have the best case scenario considering the scope of possible injuries. I felt very blessed and grateful. A broken clavicle is a 4-6 week healing time through the wearing of a posture-perfecting sling.

It was obvious I had been cared for by angels who protected me. It was ironic that Shawn had been listening to the Lance Armstrong autobiography on his ipod the night before. When he turned it off, he recounted some facts from the story. He said that Lance had been run off the road and hit by cars more times than he could count, as well as having broken his clavicle as many times. I remember thinking on the possibilities and odds of getting hurt as he told me about it. Little did I know I'd learn first hand the next morning. When I was sitting on the curb chatting with the witnesses, one remarked "It looks like you'll be okay. You just won't be surfing for a little while." It was such an off-hand remark. I remembered something. We had been scheduled to go to Hawaii on May 27 for a family trip, which would have been just two days after the accident. At the beginning of the month, for other minor reasons, we decided to reschedule it until September. What a miracle! I would have been miserable not being able to hike volcanoes, zipline through the jungle, or surf!

While waiting for the results of the x-ray, I pondered over the events of the morning. I don't believe in "accidents." I think the word "accident" describes an experience or event we would not necessarily choose for ourselves. Accidents and the lessons that come from them are an integral part of our learning and growth process in mortal life, and are individually crafted to suit each of our needs. I was texting Aura telling her about what was going on. I told her that I got to be the instrument of a young man's progression as well as my own that morning. She asked me what I learned. I said "I am profoundly grateful for life, family, health, home, attitude, agency, the Gospel, and am again acutely reminded of the literal battle for souls." After further thought, I elaborated "I also realize it was an opportunity to be tested on forgiveness or bitterness. I sincerely am forgiving. I love that young man and pray he forgives himself." Aura said "Thank heavens for helmets. Oh, and angels!" to which I replied "Amen! :)"



It looks like I'll be cycling on a stationary bike for the next 4-6 weeks either at the gym or with the winter trainer we have at home. Maybe Shawn can even set it up outside for me. :) I don't want to lose the strength acquired in my legs and heart that I've been building over the past 10 weeks since I started cycling, nor disrupt the positive effects of cycling on my weight loss plans. In the last 10 weeks, I've ridden 754.18 miles and lost 24 lbs. Can't wait to get back outside, on the road again!

I've often thought that I want to leave life used up, spent, burned out, full of experiences and living in my years, complete. I don't want to leave with regrets of what might have been. I love this quote by Abraham Lincoln, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Getting hit by a car is just another one of those experiences, and gratefully, another opportunity to spend a morning with the guardian angels that have supported, uplifted, and literally saved me on numerous other occasions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a brush with death any time soon, I've actually had too many this year so far, but I'm so grateful to those angels!

Amy Kenney

Bring It On!

This morning I could hardly see to cycle. Tears come easily for me and my experience today was too much.

Aura joined me for a twenty mile ride. She was adamant that I go my usual pace and not slow down for her. I can respect that. I love a challenge too. This put her about a half mile behind me at any given time. As I looked back over my shoulder to check her progress, a wave of joy passed over me. For just an instant, I saw her. I mean, really saw her, the way I experienced her when I was pregnant with her. Her spirit was so strong and all encompassing, when I finally met her, I knew her name had to be Aura. Just as I did when I looked into her eyes for the first time and noticed what a wise old soul she is, I understood so much about her and felt such gratitude for the opportunity to be her mother. This feeling is not uncommon, as I watch her often with that same admiration and amazement.

When Aura was an infant, I remember feeling, as she peered into my eyes, that she was looking right through me. Her presence and influence did much to inspire me to change. I was a selfish, wild and disobedient youth prior to having her. It took being a single mother for a time for me to learn many difficult life lessons. During my pregnancy, she undoubtedly felt the same emotional heartaches, struggles, and pain that I faced. I am sure those trying times did much to train her strength and empathy.

I ran two to five miles a day, and danced a lot while I was pregnant. I remember noticing that the baby had perfect rhythm and often "danced" and kicked on beat even in utero. She has kept that rhythm and has been a lifelong music lover, singer, and dancer.

I met Shawn when she was two months old. I remember our first date; the first time he held Aura and how nervous and rigid he was as if he were about to hold a fragile China doll. I said "Relax. You're not going to break her," as I put her in his arms. He loved her from the first time he saw her. Shawn and I were married six months later. Aura, Shawn and I smile with pleasure when people tell her how much she looks like him, even more so than she looks like me.

We were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple fifteen months later. By this time, we had welcomed Aura's best friend, Christian to the family. She has shared a tight emotional bond with him since the day he was born. I remember having to continually let her hold him. She would not leave him alone. The love and care she has for him is still just as strong.

She has always been very outgoing and social, yet keenly observant in an almost introverted sort of way. She talked to anybody and everybody we saw, often watching people for hours. Consequently, she's a good actress and even better at mimicking "spot-on" impressions. Her natural tendency toward leadership was evident from a young age. Her cheeful confidence attracts people young and old alike. She was often stubborn, and her need for power and control often wore me out because of our daily battles. She eventually grew out of the tantrums as her power of verbal expression grew, which was such a blessing! As she matured, her ability for concentration, deep thought and powerful verbal expression expanded greatly. We have been having deep philosophical and spiritual conversations since she was about five years old. She is a perfectionist and works tirelessly at the things she deems worthy of her time.

Aura was an incredible violinist as a young child. Sadly one day she announced that she didn't love to play and that it was something I wanted more than she did. She was about 7 years old when she told me that. I was astounded at her maturity, but still disappointed she wanted to give up something she excelled at so much. The truth is, she has excelled at any pursuit she puts her heart into. She is a fast learner and tries new things regularly. She preferred to spend her time, energy, passion and countless devoted hours to dance, gymnastics, singing and guitar. She's an amazing performer with a charisma that is truly mesmerizing to watch. I am sure it is due to her passion and purposeful decision to glorify God in all she does.

Over time, as I've recognized more and more of her gifts and talents, I have come to be more and more in awe of her tremendous strength and capacity to love and serve others. She is so much better a person than I was at her age, much more wise, devoted, obedient and accomplished.

When she was 13, a huge transformation occurred in her overall attitude and demeanor. She gained a sense of purpose and gratitude I wasn't expecting until much later. One day while I was writing on the computer and she was reading on the sofa next to me, she put her book down and made a statement that I never thought I'd hear until she had children of her own. She said "Mom, thank you for homeschooling me. A lot of my friends want to be home schooled and they beg their parents. They want to spend time pursuing their talents like art, music or dance. They don't like getting teased at school or being around a lot of bad stuff that is there. Their parents tell them to deal with it. It makes me sad because these kids know what they need and their parents don't want to help them because they might have to sacrifice their own things for their kids. They tell their kids it's too hard. It reminds me of the picture of Jesus that says "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I'm so glad you thought I was worth it, Mom." I was dumbfounded for several minutes, and teary of course

After that time, she became very purposeful about the books she read, music she listened to, the way she spent her time. She wrote essays and stories, and gained more and more conviction and a love for truth and virtue. She went to the temple weekly from the time she was twelve, maybe missing only a period of six months when she was sixteen. That was a long enough contrast for her to realize that she would never be too busy or distracted to go without regular attendance again. This was always my prayer for her. I knew how strong, stubborn and hard headed she was as a toddler and child. I knew that if she could be set in the right direction, she'd go on forever on her own, unstoppable in her desire to do and be good. One of her first words was "appropriate." I still laugh when I think of it. And yes, it is still one of her favorite words! She sets a great example for her eight younger siblings and is conscientious of her role as an influence and mentor. She has discovered and lives well her greatest life purpose, leading people to Christ.

Aura has a courageous, daring, and brave streak that has been very fun to watch. Our family went on a river rafting trip down the Snake River in Jackson Hole, WY when she was eight. There were Class 5 rapids most of the way. The rapids were twice as high as our raft most of the time and it often seemed to buckle and fold toward the helm where she was sitting. I will never forget watching Aura soaked and dripping from the spray of the rapids, smiling as broadly as she could, laughing uncontrollably and yelling at the top of her lungs "Bring it on!" This is how I picture her in my mind. It is the statement that sums up her determination and love of a challenge. Shawn and I went bungee jumping when she was even younger, maybe five. She cried and cried to be big because she was too young and too light to do it herself as per the rules. She had a great time jumping from a forty foot+ rickety platform inside a gran cenote. This cenote was a large underground cave that we visited somewhere between Tulum and Coba, in Mexico.

Christian has earned over 50 merit badges, and Aura has basically earned them along with him, doing all the requirements and rugged outdoor fun with him and Shawn. That was her only complaint about girls' camp, the fact they didn't get to canoe, shoot guns, backpack, rappel, or climb. They made jewelry instead. She loves such outdoor activities as paragliding, scuba diving, cycling, running, backpacking, rock climbing, skiing, snowboarding, dirt biking, body boarding, jet skiing, and hiking. One of her favorite trips was to Zion's to hike the Narrows and to slot canyoneer Keyhole Canyon.

A few years ago, she started running with me. It wasn't long before her long, slender and graceful legs outpaced mine. I expect it's only a matter of time before the same will hold true for cycling, and in life in general. This is actually my hope and prayer for her. I would love for her to outpace me in every way, and in many ways, she already has. She is a truly excellent and beautiful woman, inside and out. In another year, she will be gone, off for the adventure of college away from home. My heart is already breaking, but at the same time, I'm wildly excited for her!


Thanks for all the joy you bring to my life, Aura. I love you.

Love,

Mom